stuck in limbo.

today; was just a little bit harder.
i stayed in bed most of the day, just laying there, missing him.
i think today was hard because i can't call his phone to hear his voice anymore, nor do i have much idea on where he currently is. it's like we're stuck in limbo.
not knowing when we will talk next, or how we will communicate.
i havent started my new routines yet, i know he hasn't either.
so we're kind of both just going minute by minute.
i didn't get to talk to him today though a lot of his crew got on Facebook to post, like idiots, where they were. i was hoping my husband would send me an email as well, but no such luck.
but that's okay. i got to hear his wonderful voice yesterday, i don't need to hear it every day, though i'd like to. but i miss his face even more.
things are so good between us, i don't need reassurance that he loves and misses me, i know for a fact that I'm all he's thinking about right now.
though we all know my husband, and a tumbleweed floats through his brain at all times, hehe.
it made me sad when we went to the Naval Hospital to get monitored though, and not being able to tell him right then and there. but i wouldnt want him to worry.
i just remember the last time i went and how sweet he was when i got home, even though i was still very angry with hims. i just wish i could have came home and snuggled with him.
instead, he's more than likely on some plane, or in some foreign airport, jet lagged and exhausted, wishing he was holding me too.
i just can't wait to get all the traveling over with.
my mopey little weekend.
and us to start all this for real.
his son currently has the hiccups, again. and i havent even seen him yet and i know he's so much like his daddy.
i actually cried a little in the bathtub last night, telling Ryder, to please come out, i needed a piece of daddy to hold.
I'm a strong person, but i never expected it to be this difficult only on day 2.
i suppose it's because i've been able to see him for the last 9 months, every single day almost, and fall asleep with him every night. and now he just isn't here.
and I'm realizing so much about him, our marriage, his love, it's bringing me to tears.
but i am doing all that  i can.
as soon as we get our schedules down, i know things will be fine,it's just getting there that happens to be tearing me apart. 
but, it's 0536, and Ryder and i are going to go to bed.
and sleep half the day away tomorrow too.
but on the bright side, we got to take off our second post it tonight.
that door is still full and it's not making me feel better right now! lol.
soon, soon. keeping my chin up.

but i am MORE than ready to talk to him.
my ringer is set to high AND vibrate.
i have Skype open when i sleep, just in case.
i have facebook chat and skype mobile on my phones, open at all times.
i jump when i hear my email ringtone.
and i have my facebook messages sent to text, so if he messages me then BAM, i get it automatically.
so whether I'm at home, in the hospital, at the commissary, or even pooping, i can talk to him when he gets on something.
oh, the joys of Deployment.=]