standing my ground.

 i knew it would end up happening.
and today it did.
i was sitting on my laptop and i saw a friend request.
it was Mikes mom, again.
thats all i got. i didnt get a message, i havent gotten a test of a phone call, asking how i was holding up. not lik it would matter, that'd probably bug me anyway. but the fact that she just randomly tries to add me a few days after my husband leaves and a few weeks before my son is due, and doesn't bother TALKING to me, no thanks. i won't have to creepin my page just to see pictures and read updates on Mikes whereabouts.
i honestly wasnt sure if i should add her or not. but i chose not to.
i tried that before, back in boot camp. sure i was just a girlfriend but i updated them on every letter i got. i made sure they knew what was going on.
where did it lead me to?
nowhere.
i didn't get any respect, i didn't get a better relationship, it didn't make them appreciate me or understand our relationship more. it really did, nothing.
so why should i sit here and try to do all that again? so they can get all they want from me?
yes, i'm selfish.
i hold near and dear to my heart that i know where he is, how he's doing.
i will never forget the last few days together and i am so happy that i was the only one that got to see him off on that bus and will be the only one to see him home on the bus, well, minus Ryder of course. =]
she wasn't adding me for me, she was adding me for her own personal benefit of seeing Michael and Ryder. and it still irritates me that she called him "Michael Junior" rather than Ryder.
i just, i can't deal with his mom right now. i deal with too much and they don't understand it at all.
i just see it all not being worth it, again. i see it all falling apart, again.
why should they just waltz right in and get all the info that they want? how come they dont have to fight for it, and fight FOR him, like i've had to for the past year and a half because of them?
and like my mom said, if she wants updates, she shouldnt be trying to add my facebook. clearly, she has an issue with things i say, or how i feel, what have you. so why doesn't she email instead? and then i have my personal place where she doesn't creep?
but i just decided to ignore it.
i did message her though, saying that maybe one day i'd be ready to add her back. but right now isn't the time. that i had too much to deal with and i wasn't about to add something else to my plate.
i wasnt the only one who thought this either, that's the advice i got from almost everyone.
to just ignore her.

i honestly don't know how mike feels about it.
when i told him a few weeks ago that i wasnt going to be dealing with her, he seemed to understand.
i know that if he wants her to know something, he will get hold of her, as well as me.
i don't know, this whole situation confuses me, i don't really know the right answer, or what i really should do. i just know somewhere down the road it won't mean anything, it wont be worth it, and itll all blow up in my face again. it won't change anything if i do add her and she can see updates on her son and mine. not at all. so honestly, why even stress about it? why even bother at all?
i need to understand that she doesnt matter, the only things d people that do, are those that are ACTUALLY there for me, at all times. not just when they need me.