Thank You.

dEAR dEPLOYMENT,
thank you for everything you have already done, in almost two months.
for making me re evaluate my marriage, going back to the very beginning and living through it all over again. and making me realize so much more about my husband and i that i never imagined to would begin to understand. before you came along and slapped us in the face, i was thinking about leaving the one man that i have ever truely loved, and that has loved me back the same. despite our fighting and our sleepless nights, second guessing and stupid doubts, you roved to me that no matter what, we can make it through this life together. that we are a team. that from the very beginning we knew we'd make it. that nothing could tear us apart. many, many, many things and people have tried to get in between us and we have never let them do so. and most of all, we didn't allow ourselves to tear us apart either.
thank you, for making me love him even more.

thank you for allowing me to be so strong and be the best mommy that i can be. things are far from easy, easy won't ever happen in this situation. but i can honestly say, I'm doing far better than most in my situation. i have healed well from the Cesarean Section and i am back to my original pre pregnancy size. my son is healthy and right on track with everything, he's long and skinny. he's healthy and he's usually happy. he's beginning to get such an amazing personality. he's a little lover, but has a great set of lungs. lol. he's honestly the love of my life. he changed my entire world and my entire view on so many things the first moment that i held him. i never thought the feelings i have felt with him ever existed. i don't know what i would do without him now. i just can't wait for us to become a family, finally.

thank you for placing such amazing friends in my life. if it hadn't been for you i might now have gotten so close to Amber, and in turn, gotten close with Brydan and Travis as well. i wouldn't have had anyone with me during my most difficult time, and i wouldnt have a full family here. thank you for allowing Monique and i to stay close and get together and make care packages. it really makes me miss the guys even more, and who they use to be together. and all our old memories. i couldn't ask for more amazing friends. i finally know what it's like to have people have my back, never let me down, and always be there when i need a shoulder to lean on.

thank you for allowing me to go back and drown myself in memories as i have done almost every night for the past week, and think of my husband even more than usual. thank you for making me cry, to laugh, and break completely down. thank you for allowing me to rip a god damn post it note off my door every night and count down another month when it goes by.

most days, i hate you. i want my husband home.
but nights like these, when something amazing happens, i couldn't be happier that all this happened.
every tear, every heart ache, every bad day.
it's worth it.

Stay Safe Support! <3