A Simple Kind Of Man.

All i can think about is him.
i can no longer hear the revv of a motorcycle. without thinking of the first time he picked me up, on our very first date. pulled up on that electric blue crotch rocket, pulled off his helmet, and shook my mommas hand.
the way, that day, heis fingers gently fastened the strap of the jet black helmet.
i swung my leg over the back of that bike and i held on tight.
for what i didn't know then, would be the ride of my life.
i still smile at the fact that he was too nervous to kiss me that day.
i can no longer listen to about half the songs i ever listened to, because of him.
the night we played "Epiphany" by Staind over and over on his Xbox and just laid in bed holding one another, on Sweetest Day 2009, after i got off work. where he surprised me with a visit, and made sure i was on dispatch and he went and built me a bear.
where i had my co worker spy on him and make sure he made a wish on the heart.
he did.
i bawled my eyes out that night, not knowing what was going to happen when he went away to Boot Camp.
as i laid my head on his chest i let the tears fall freely. when i looked at him, he too, was letting the tears fall.
neither one of us can hear the song the same.
i remember the night before i took him to the recruiters office before boot camp.
how we just clung to one another all night, not wanting the next morning to come.
how he completely ignored waking anyone up to say goodbye, as we went and got breakfast.
cheesy scrambler with bacon and white toast and coffee, cream and sugar for me, sugar for him, both stirred with a knife.
and off we wer.
i waited with him, until the van came to take them down to Indianapolis to the hotel.
i held onto him, with all that i could. knowing that it would be some of our last moments together for the next three months.
i cried the entire drive home, in johnny walker, the many, many memories in that old beat up pickup truck.
i couldnt eat or sleep the rest of the day, and was up all night. in his old room. just sitting, and staring.
what had i gotten myself into? loving a man that was about to become a United States Marine?
i remember those last moments, right after he swore in, and then it was time to go.
he was the last one on that bus. had he waited a few more seconds i swear i wouldn't have ever let him go.
but i watched that bus pull away and that was it.
driving back to the ghostly streets of him and me, ripped a whole into my soul and i began to see.
that no matter who he was, or who he became to be.
the only thing that ever really mattered, was that he was in love with me. <3


i love you, Michael Patrick Nelson.
my soul mate.
my best friend.
my knight on a shiny motorcycle.
my sexy Marine.
the love of my life.
the daddy to our beautiful son.
i loveloveLOVE you, i can't say it enough.
"i miss you so much my heart is oozing."
forever forever.
pinky promised and sealed with a kiss.
always.

yours, and mine.